When You Feel Like Your Brilliance Isn’t Enough

 

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Now that I’ve gotten through the whirlwind of closing down one community and opening up our Brilliance Community I’ve had a chance to read some of your notes and of course they’ve inspired me!

It seems like many of you are wondering…

1. Do I truly have something remarkable and unique about me? (You do!)
2. Why does it seem like sometimes my Brilliance isn’t enough?

First, you DO have something remarkable and unique about you. We all do. No one is excluded from this truth. YOU were born with a special something, that when you use it/express it/leverage it, makes you feel very on purpose and alive.

Here’s an example from my own personal life. I first connected with my Brilliance in a memorable way when I was called to give a presentation to a group of corporate executives. Now, mind you, the night before when my team and I were prepping I felt like a disaster! I didn’t know how to connect the dots or say what needed to be said. I was worried and I know my team was worried!

That evening when I went home I practiced and I know my practice led me to dig deep within myself to somehow put together a hopefully acceptable presentation. (At that point I wasn’t shooting for the stars!)

The next day I woke up feeling so scared and worried. Stage fright was setting in but what could I do? The big wigs had flown in and in a few hours expected the presentation we had promised to give them.

I was the first to go (me, the girl that had been a disaster the night before). When I opened my mouth all of my prep and digging deep seemed to pay off. I articulated every point that needed to be made clearly and succinctly. I had presence. I commanded the room. All eyes and ears were on me and I knew it. I could feel them all and as I kept speaking my confidence grew and grew. My presentation was amazing!

Today I remember the high-fives I received from EVERYONE and I also remember how great it felt to be so in command of myself. I had been in full ownership of my Brilliance and I loved it!

Note: it would be very tempting for me to say that my Brilliance is speaking but that’s not actually true. I can certainly hold my own and have done so many times but “speaking” or “being a speaker” isn’t my Brilliance. My Brilliance has more to do with my ability to dig deep and articulate clearly from the inside out. My Brilliance has to do with my ability to access and express my Authentic Voice.

Now it’s your turn. Remember a time when you felt your best. When you were “on”. What do you remember about that experience? Now it’s your turn to dig deep because at the core of that experience was your Brilliance!

Next, why does it seem like sometimes my Brilliance isn’t enough?

I would say this concern has more to do with what gets in the way of your Brilliance than your Brilliance itself. There are so many things that can get in our way of shining, mostly our long-carried Beliefs about what’s possible or not possible.

Here’s another example. It was just a few years later, after this peak experience, that I had one of my worst experiences! Again, I was being asked to speak and even though I prepared I BOMBED! Big time! Do you know why? I let a little stinkin’ thinkin’ get in the way that time. I had become very worried about my audience, especially how they might judge me. Somewhere deep inside of me my fear of judgement rose to the surface and totally overtook my Brilliance that day. My Brilliance didn’t go anywhere it’s just that on that day my fear was in charge. I hadn’t put it aside and because of that it swallowed me up.

If you feel your Brilliance “isn’t enough” or that you’re lacking in some way please examine your beliefs. The part of you that’s telling you you’re not enough is a totally separate entity than the ESSENCE of Who You Really Are. Who You Really Are is blessed with gifts and when you use those gifts your life will be blessed. That’s how it works.

A Word About Your Instincts

461552027f7803a174294b9291d7d56cIt’s always a good thing to keep in mind, yes?

At the end of the day all decisions for your life and your business come back to you.

No matter how good someone else makes something sound and no matter how convinced they are of what is best for you (haha!), you’re the one that will have to deal with the results of your decisions!

Therefore, practice trusting your gut. Yes, make it a practice because the more you practice trusting your gut the better at it you’ll get.

Tune in. Listen. Act.

Then, OWN your decisions. Really own them. Doing so will boost your energy, give you focus, and move your forward.

You’ve got good instincts. You do. Never dismiss them.

Carolyn Herfurth | thebiztruth.com

Personal

What’s a typical day look like for you, including your work schedule? I love to not set an alarm so I don’t. Unless I have to catch an early flight. I wake up around 7-7:30am…make juice, workout with kickboxing/running/biking, take my first client call around 10:30, work straight through until 4 and then I take a nap or veg, but prefer a nap! I know that when I’m fresh – I’m fresh and I’m on!

How does owning your own business support your lifestyle? I get to set my schedule! I get to pick and choose how I run my day. This is insanely important to me. I saw a photo in New York Magazine about four moguls who were pictured taking a nap > Calvin Klein, David Geffen, Barry Diller and Sandy Gallin. I thought, yep, that’s it. Work hard, rejuvenate, and then get back at it.

If you’re not living it already, what is your ultimate lifestyle? Because I love my work so much, I often forget to plan trips and adventures. I’ve been making an effort to fit that in. I started #CultureClub with two of my friends where we do something artsy, NYC iconic or cultural – rather than just going to dinner and calling it a night. We now take turns planning each month and it’s super fun. I’ve also booked a trip to Paris for a week in November. Can you believe I’ve never been?! Quite frankly, the only thing missing is a man…a relationship! A real relationship.

What is the best thing about owning your own business? What do you love about it? I love what I do so much. Knowing the impact I’m able to make! When I see the light bulb go on it’s magic. Today I was talking with a new Evolve Accelerator group and when things start popping, it’s so palpable. I love that. I love that I get to open possibilities for them.

What’s something people wouldn’t know about you? I have a huge fear of rejection! And I fight through it. I think that’s why I do what I do – in sales you’re up for rejection all the time and it depends on how you deal with it and view it. Rejection is something that held me back – and I’m so much better about it now – but for years I lived with a big fear of rejection.

How long have you been in business?  October 28, 2015 is my 13 year anniversary. Before starting my first business I sold software solutions for Oracle.

Business

In a nutshell, tell us about your business? I run a business accelerator for women entrepreneurs who have service-based businesses.

What do you specialize in? The short answer is I help women entrepreneurs with business and sales strategies. But what it really comes down to is activating the fastest and truest path to immediate and sustainable income. I’m an activator.

How do you really help people? Inspiring self-trust, That’s my ultimate brilliance.

Do you work online, by phone, in person? All that + live events, VIP days, and I do talks!

What makes your business remarkable and unique? There are a couple of things: I’m one of the few business coaches out there who shows you how business success is created. What I do supports individuality and it supports you in understanding how the cogs work together. Rather than just saying “do it this way”. I teach people WHY and it helps people understand how to do it for themselves. Not just when they’re working with me as a client, but when I’m no longer around. This is how I help business owners develop trust in their ability to succeed.

Brilliance

What is it? To inspire self-trust

How do you leverage it? From a business model perspective I’ve designed my programs with that mission in mind: My Evolve Accelerators – this is where I take a small group of clients by the hand and teach them the bits and pieces and the “whats” of creating a business model that works for their dreams and special brilliance. I also work privately with clients with that same mission in mind. We’ll sit down and knock out a specific plan or issue over a period of 2 or 3 months, always keeping in mind there will come a time where they’ll be ready to fly on their own and I want them to trust themselves when that day comes! My Brilliant U program teaches the foundational aspects of building your business and business model design so that a woman can take what she learns and apply it to her unique business.

Intuition

Do you see a direct correlation between trusting yourself and your success vs. times when you didn’t? There’s a very direct connection… because it’s very fresh to me when I didn’t have that self-trust! Trusting my instincts and my success are so inextricably linked.

How does your intuition work? Do you get a “gut feeling”? Do you receive “signs”? Do you just “know”?  Right now, this is what works. I will lie in bed when I wake up and think through the questions or issues I’m currently facing. I’m in and out of sleep and the distractions of the day haven’t begun. I’ll let my foggy/sleep brain work through the question/problem/issue until I know I have found a solution. It works so well when I get quiet. Also, when I’m running. I can let my mind roam and I get a lot of insights that way. BTW, I’m also currently very curious about TM (transcendental meditation) because I want to hone my ability to quiet my mind and be more present.

Mindset

What do you do when you have a setback, or when the going gets tough? I always do gratitude morning and night. Gratitude is my first go to. When I’m in a tough spot I still do my gratitude practice and keep it really simple: “I’m so glad to be alive.” I’m so grateful to have a roof over my head.” I have a tendency to put the shine or the spin on everything without going through the emotions. A coach of mine once told me “you’ve got to feel to heal.” So there are times I let myself sit in what I’m going through, even when it’s the last thing I want to do. I also challenge myself to have fun and to MOVE. I’ll do some affirmations, read a good book, watch something like Mike Dooley videos, it could be anything that makes me laugh and makes me feel light. If things get heavy I tell myself, STOP! If things are that hard then is it the right thing to be doing? In those times I feel like the Universe is telling me to stop and look somewhere else. That’s when I pause and really try to tune into the bigger picture.

What do you do to maintain a healthy mindset? I think for the most part I’m naturally wired to think everything happens for a reason and know something better is on the other side of this. Even though I may not see the light I know there’s light on the other side. I am wired this way and it does make the bad times really, really hard for me. Sometimes I do lose my shit because I am a naturally a happy go lucky person, I’m positive, I’m optimistic. So, when I feel down it feels really bad. In essence, I’m comparing my dark state to how I am most of time which is naturally happy.

What are your personal “traps” – what do you need to watch for? I’m a “sprinter”. I go, go, go, go, go and then I rest. During my rest period I can be really hard on myself that I should be doing something more. I can get caught in an old pattern that tells me I should always be doing something. I overcome this by accepting this as one of my traps. I just remind myself that this is familiar territory and that calms me down.

Spirituality / Soul

How big a role does spirituality (your connection with God) play in your business? I connect with God/the Universe vs. a particular religion. I believe things are always conspiring for good, not evil. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t look for deeper meanings, I accept there is a deeper meaning, but I don’t feel the need to interpret it.

Do you feel you were “called” to do the work you do? How so? How did you “know”? I really struggled with this about six years ago. This led me to get caught up with hiring the guru people. Then one day after years and years of disappoint someone said to me, “oh, everything you do is on purpose.” That hit me right between the eyes! I do feel like what I’m doing right now is super helpful. Super valuable. But I don’t think teaching women about business is my purpose. This is one thing on my journey. A few years ago, before I moved to NYC, I was in church and was sitting next to a man who introduced himself as the founding Pastor of that church. He was an AMAZING man. I told him that I work with entrepreneurs on their businesses. He said, “oh, your ministry is helping entrepreneurs!” That was a big a-ha for me! I thought that was so amazing he would see what I do as a ministry and put it into those words! That was a real honor. I do think the work that I do is my ministry and I know it will evolve. And I do know that I’m on purpose.

Dreams

What do you still want to do in your business (and life) that you haven’t gotten the chance to do …yet? Sometimes I actually forget to dream. But lately I’ve been thinking it would be very cool to do some kind of adventure or challenge retreat with business women! I think that would be super, super fun. Right now I have a bee in my bonnet to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro! I have to decide if I want to do it for myself with my friends or with a group of businesswomen.

Success

What are your favorite success books? The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz Callings by Gregg Levoy – this was one of the books I leaned one when I was trying to “find” my purpose Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg McKeown The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success in Selling by Frank Bettger Start With Why by Simon Sinek Anything Seth Godin writes…

Who / what inspires you? Ellen DeGeneres because she’s all about play, and fun and goodness. I love how she expands, how random she is, but how it all fits. Angela Jia Kim, founder of Savor the Success. She goes after shit! She moves quickly. She works with partners. She has fun.

Who has greatly influenced you with his/her teachings? My parents… (BTW, we all love Carolyn’s mom and dad!)

What philosophies do you have that you think have contributed to your success thus far? Dare Live Your Truth. Be Good To People.

What’s your definition of success? Happiness!

How long did it take before your business was profitable? My first business took 2 years. This business, 4 years because I was so in the hole!

What keeps you going during lean times? I refused to believe I was doing anything wrong. I was moved and called to work with the people I do!

Fun

What do you like to do for fun? Going out with friends. Hosting parties in my street! Anything to do with people.

What are your hobbies? Gardening

What’s your favorite thing to eat? Pizza, of course! Wait, that’s not really my answer. Healthy food…with French fries on the side.

If you were a superhero, who would you like to be? Wonder Woman

What’s your favorite color? Red

What’s your favorite movie? Shawshank Redemption

Musician? Fleetwood Mac

TV show? The Voice

To date, what’s one of the best experiences you’ve ever had in your life? I don’t know just one! WOW! I feel like I’ve had so many!

Advice

What advice would you give someone just starting out, or wanting to start a business? Don’t try to squeeze yourself into a one-size-fits-none business. Don’t follow the crowd – follow your heart. You’ll be so much happier in the long run!

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? It was from Paul Simon, “don’t worry, be happy.” It’s so easy to get caught up in the minutiae and spend time worrying about things that will probably never happen… so why waste your time?

Ann Marie Boyle | ThreeTines.com

Ann Marie BoyleI’ve known Ann Marie for a few years and I’ve always been impressed with her commitment and dedication to her entrepreneurial journey. She’s smart and funny and deeply committed to living her life and building her business intentionally.

Ann Marie launched ThreeTines.com in September 2015. As you read her Biography I think you’ll be as inspired as I am regarding the thought she put into her new brand and the intention behind it. She took her time launching her brand and in a day and age when the message seems to be “speed is everything” I applaud the patience she’s shown. Of course, as you’ll read, this is due to her ability to trust her instincts.

Personally, I love the Three Tines brand and its eco-conscious message and products, as well as its underlying message of kindness… to the earth and each other. I also love how Ann Marie sprinkles humor in just about everything she does! She’s a wise, articulate, and creative woman who keeps reaching for the stars and her unique place in the world!

Ann Marie is most certainly building a business around her Brilliance! Take a look here: www.ThreeTines.com

Enjoy Ann Marie’s Biography!

Personal

What’s a typical day look like for you, including your work schedule? I’m actually in the process of trying to have more “typical” days. While I am someone, as are many entrepreneurs that does not seek out structure I am learning that some daily consistency serves me very well. Right now, that means getting up between 6-6:30 a.m. and doing 20 minutes of yoga followed by 20 minutes of meditation, having a healthy breakfast with my husband and taking a walk before settling into my office/studio. Once in my studio my days are often dedicated to either working on administrative/marketing tasks OR creating new products at the cutting table and sewing machine. I find it works best for me to either put on my business hat or my creative hat and leave that hat on for the whole day.

How does owning your own business support your lifestyle? Though I had a successful corporate career before moving into self-employment it was never comfortable for me. It never fit my true nature to sit at a desk for a prescribed number of hours, so owning my own business is ideal. I can work at 7am or 7pm and that seems to work for me. Additionally, I am married to a college professor who has some flexibility in his daily schedule. Some of our best “dates” have been the times we have decided to see a movie at 2pm or picking apples at 10am – they don’t happen often, but I love that it possible now and again.

If you’re not living it already, what is your ultimate lifestyle? We would love to travel more and are trying to figure out how to incorporate that into our lives/schedules. We’ve been lucky enough to travel to Australia twice for 4 months each time in the last 7 years (in conjunction with Paul’s (my husband) job). Once you’ve had in-depth travel experiences like that you want to do more of it! Our jobs currently don’t allow for extended travel, but where there is a will, there is a way, right?

What is the best thing about owning your own business? What do you love about it? My first response was initially “flexibility,” but given a little more thought, what I really love is being able to incorporate my life into my business and my business into my life. Three Tines is crafted around my passions of cooking, creating, and sustainable living. For example, when I’m laying out a menu plan for the week, its both work and life –or- when Paul and I are out hand-harvesting grapes with the local vineyard, I’m both enjoying a fun day with my husband and cooking up a blog post in my head.

What’s something people wouldn’t know about you? I love to ice skate! I took to it naturally as a child and have recently re-enrolled in lessons – part of my efforts to convince myself that, in fact, I am not “too old” to learn new things and it’s never “too late.”

How long have you been in business? Are you a brand new business owner? How many months/years? While my self-employment journey began in 2003, I officially launched Three Tines in September 2015. And, as a friend recently said to me, “This business feels like the perfect culmination of your other endeavors.” I couldn’t agree more!

Business

In a nutshell, tell us about your business? I am the founder of Three Tines, a company that manufacturers ethically produced, eco-conscious aprons and other kitchen linens. Our line features products used in the kitchen and at the table because it is my belief that food connects us. It connects us to people, to our memories, and to the earth. The food on our plates is the most direct connection to the environment and the amazing abundance it brings us.

What do you specialize in? It might sound a little haughty, but I believe we specialize in kindness. I believe that, at their core, all environmental efforts are about kindness — kindness to yourself, to others, and to the planet.

How do you help people? Our mission has (no surprise) three components: eco-conscious products; a community where people can share ideas on living more sustainably; and our giving back initiative. We hope customers see our products as an easy way to start making small changes in their life. Our blog’s goal is to share ideas (from us and others) on living sustainably and offering space to talk about sustainable design/product life-cycle issues. Our Giving Back program allows us to take a percentage of our profits and share them with organizations that share our enthusiasm for healthy food and a healthy planet.

Do you work online, by phone, in person? Since our business is new, we currently only offer our products through our website. It’s our intention to begin to expand our reach through wholesale accounts beginning in the second quarter of 2016. I am also interested in expanding the message of our business through speaking in the greater community.

What makes your business remarkable and unique? I really don’t want to be “just another” manufacturer or retailer. Our products and ideas are more than just things; they are a way to express mindfulness, a way to build connection. Every decision is made with intentionality – we want our products to have a “soul.” I take great care in creating our products – everything, right down to our tags and thread, is environmentally-friendly. I extensively interview all vendors, making sure their employees are paid and treated fairly. And, I seek out recycled, recyclable and biodegradable packing and printed materials.

Brilliance

What’s your Brilliance? This might sound like it’s coming out of left field, but I believe my Brilliance is my ability to project and people manage, organize and put systems in place. If you marry that with my passion for caring for this amazing planet and the people and creatures on it you get to Three Tines. It took me a long time to own this Brilliance, to feel like it was enough . . . or even something. Once I finally embraced my Brilliance I was able to employ it to do something that I found rewarding and valuable – to both myself and others.

How do you infuse your business with your brilliance? Again, probably not your “typical” answer, but here goes . . . I ask for help. I hire people. I ask people to bring their Brilliance to the table. If my brilliance is strategic planning and yours is graphic design, then together we’re going to make a pretty dynamic team.

Intuition

Do you believe listening to and acting on your intuitive instincts has helped you grow your business? How so + example. Absolutely! For years I have been hearing the “gloom & doom” environmental stories (one of the hazards of being married to an Environmental Chemist) and I just kept feeling “there must be a better way.” Yes, as humans have done great harm to our planet, but my gut kept saying making people feel bad about it wasn’t going to effect real, positive change. The whispers kept saying, “You can either chastise people for the past or start working for a better future.” But, what would I do? My gut said to combine my passions and talents and give people an easy, and beautiful, way to “green” their lives and Three Tines was born.

How have you honed and built trust in your intuitive instincts? For me it has taken trial and error – jumping into the deep end, if you will. Acting on my intuition and then paying very close attention to the results. By seeing positive results I learned to trust my “inner voice” more and more.

How does your intuition work? Do you get a “gut feeling”? Do you receive “signs”? Do you just “know”? See things, hear things, sense things in other ways? For me, it is a combination of all those things. It is amazing how much we “know” if we get quiet enough to really listen. Or, how telling that feeling in your gut is, if you don’t just pass it off as indigestion!

Mindset

What do you do when you have a setback, or when the going gets tough? Eat a bag of Chee-tos?? Seriously, this is a tough one for me and something I work on everyday. I am notoriously hard on myself and have to work really hard to stay positive through setbacks. My best practices include practicing gratitude. I am a written word kind of girl, so it works best for me to write down all the things I am grateful for, with an intentional focus on the “small” things. I also have an amazingly supportive partner and having his support sustains me through the tough stuff.

What do you do to maintain a healthy mindset? Yoga, meditation and getting out in nature are the habits that pay the biggest dividends for me.

What are your personal “traps” – what do you need to watch for? (ex: lacking confidence, holding back, etc.) I have two personal “traps:” the belief that its all been done before and I’m not enough of an expert.

Spirituality / Soul

How big a role does spirituality (your connection with God) play in your business? It plays a huge role in my life so by extension it plays a big role in my business. While it might not appear directly in my business, it shows up in the way I conduct my business and the decisions I make.

Do you feel your business is soul-driven? How so? Yes, I feel my business is very soul-driven – which might be odd for another manufacturer or retailer. Kindness is at the core of everything we do – it drives what we make and why we make it. Our sense of personal responsibility motivates us to offer a product that has a lower impact and encourages us to support like-minded charities and non-profit organizations.

Do you feel your business is an expression of your divine purpose/mission? How so? Yes. I’ve felt, for as long as I can remember, that it is our mission to leave the world a better place than when we found it. This business allows me to fully express that belief while still offering a usable, beautiful product that people can be comfortable brining into their own homes.

Do you feel you were “called” to do the work you do? How so? How did you “know”? Something is driving all of this! I’m not sure I fully understand it at this point, but I know the Universe is not letting me do anything else, so I’m going with it!

Dreams

What’s your ideal business look like? I want to part of the larger conversation on sustainable product design. I want to help people welcome friends and family into their homes with beautiful accessories. I’d love to someday return to owning a bricks & mortar store – this time it would be more of a concept store where a customer could not only shop but also taking a cooking class.

What do you still want to do in your business (and life) that you haven’t gotten the chance to do …yet? As someone who loves to be on stage, my BIG goal is to give a TED talk!

Outside your business, what are some of your other big dreams? I’m still working on my health goals, so my dreams include getting back to a healthy weight. Oh, and someday, I’d love to try my hand at stand-up comedy . . . or being part of an improve troop . . . (Yikes! Did I just put that out to the Universe???)

Success

What made you passionate about what you do? What brought you to this point? I’ve often joked that my resume looks like a child’s “Connect the Dots” activity. It took me a long time to stop doing what I thought I was “supposed to do” and start living the life that is meant for me. My passion for “doing better” brought me here – if you can do better then I believe you should. Whether that means making eco-conscious products or simply sharing kindness with friends, family, neighbors –do it.

What are your favorite success books? Daring Greatly by Brene Brown; A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson; and pretty much any entrepreneur profile (recently read and enjoyed Do the KIND Thing by Daniel Luetzky of KIND bars).

Who / what inspires you? Before leaving my corporate career I worked as the Director of Development at the Ronald McDonald House in the Twin Cities and I have never been more inspired than I was by the children and families staying there. It’s been 15 years since I left that job and a week never goes by when I don’t think of those ill children who never lost their capacity to laugh. I strive for the same thing every day.

Who has greatly influenced you with his/her teachings? See “books” question

What philosophies do you have that you think have contributed to your success thus far? My personal philosophies that have most contributed to my success are: At our core we are all good people; You will never know what its like to walk in another person’s shoes; and one from the Three Tines Touchstone – Kindness is a daily practice, not a random act.

What’s your definition of success? Peacefulness. I don’t believe we can always achieve happiness, but having a sense of personal peace through whatever is happening in my life, well, it doesn’t get more successful than that.

How long did it take before your business was profitable? Since just launching in September, we are still working on paying off our start-up costs.

Fun

What do you like to do for fun/hobbies? Taking walks, reading, cooking, spending time with friends and I’m a huge sports fan – always gives me a little chuckle to think my Sundays are split between football and Super Soul Sunday – doesn’t get much different than those two things!

What’s your favorite thing to eat? A year ago I switched to a an entirely plant-based diet, so I am loving trying all kinds of veggies – my favorites are kale and avocados . . . oh, I might enjoy a glass of hard apple cider or Cab Sav once in a while . . .

If you were a superhero, who would you like to be? Oprah. ‘Nuf said.

What’s your favorite color? This is hard one! I am a very visual person and love all kinds of colors, but right now I’m crushing on big bold reds, Tiffany blue and elephant grey.

Design influence? Artist? My design and art aesthetics lean modern (love clean lines!) – so I’ll say Modrian and Mark Rothko. Though if Nate Berkus wants to come and decorate my home, he is most certainly welcome!

What’s your favorite movie? It’s a close race between the original Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and the Wizard of Oz.

Musician? Anyone who makes me feel like getting up and dancing!

TV show? It’s guilty pleasure time! My butt is always on the sofa for Dancing with the Stars and Project Runway (did that reveal too much about me???)

To date, what’s one of the best experiences you’ve ever had in your life? Oh so many! But, I’d have to say having a pod of spinner dolphins swim and jump alongside our small boat while snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef – they were just SO happy!

Advice

What advice would you give someone just starting out, or wanting to start a business? Trust your gut. Just because someone hasn’t done it exactly the way you want to do it, doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? I had a college professor (former VP of Marketing for Coca-Cola) that walked into the first day of class and announced, “Life’s not fair, don’t expect this class to be.” I came to realize throughout the semester that she wanted us to find innovative ways to conquer hurdles and think outside the box after being told “No.”

Don’t be shy and do be courageous…

7d4c7ba55d5a24ba9379e3d18733d7ddI’ve been a bit quiet the last few weeks but that doesn’t mean things are at a stand still!

Quite the contrary, actually. I’ve spent time in reflection regarding the next steps I want to take in my business. I thought I knew — and in many ways I did — but I could also feel a mighty truth emerging for me and I needed to give it time to surface.

When I started my business 14 years ago I did so with the intention that I wanted to make my work accessible to as many people around the globe as possible. At that time internet marketing didn’t really exist but the internet did and I had this sense that somehow I would leverage the power of the internet to help me grow my business and spread my message. Fast forward many years later and I feel grateful for how that intention led me to create many different programs and of course put me in touch with people all over the world.

And still, today, I know there’s more for me to do!

Over the last few weeks I’ve been having a ball speaking with and creating with a new partner who is going to include my Identify Your Brilliance work in her new program. Blending my program with other great works is a dream come true for me because for a long time I’ve realized we can get so much more done together. AND, we can offer even more value than we ever dreamed possible!

I’ve also been in deep brainstorming mode thinking of other outlets for my work and my message. It’s pretty sobering to consider how big this world is and how many opportunities exist for all of us! So much so sometimes it takes me awhile to choose and to act because I have (and you have) so many choices!

Why am I sharing this with you? Because, for awhile now I’ve needed a few goals that make me want to jump out of bed in the morning and I thought just maybe you needed a little inspiration to give yourself the same.

If you haven’t considered it lately, what would/what does make you want to jump — LEAP — out of bed in the morning? Is it time for you to uplevel? Is it time for you to claim an aspect of your work you’ve kept at bay? Is it time for you ask for and expect more?

Don’t be shy and do be courageous.

If you can imagine it you can find a way to have it.

Don’t hold back.

A few thoughts about Your Value…

your valueOne of the many benefits of doing what I do is that I get to interact with truly amazing, thought-provoking individuals that are a perfect blend of taking on life and business with gusto, while vulnerably admitting they get hung up too.

I had one such conversation last week and it was so juicy I wanted to share it with you.

One of my clients had a bit of a glitch in her thinking about what her value really is.

You see, she fell into a trap that many business owners fall into: she confused her value with what she specializes in.  Many business owners are confused by this because we’re constantly taught that our value is based on what we DO vs. on Who We Are.

This was the case for my client. Oh, she does specialize and yet she kept feeling like she was falling short in the value she offers her clients, especially if she didn’t have “all the answers” for them.

To get her over this hump I had her to do this. Imagine sitting in front of you is the dearest 5 year old. Look into her eyes. See her.

Now, consider this: does this 5 year old “specialize” in anything particular? No, she doesn’t.

However, does this 5 year old child have value?

Without question.

Where does her value arise from if it’s not from what she specializes in?

Her value arises from within her. She is valuable simply because she is. She has her own special light. Her own special spark. No one plays like her. No one shows up in a room like her. No other child interacts with adults like her.

Her value, (I know you can see it), is off the charts huge.

This is true for all children, right? We would all be hard-pressed to find any caring adult to argue otherwise.

And yet, as adults, we very quickly forget or don’t see OUR intrinsic value because “the world” has told us far too many times our value arises from what we do and what we specialize in more than it does in Who We Are.

My client got this. She got the a-ha she needed and then we were able to discuss the true value she brings to her clients: her intuition, her ability to find the answers, the unique way she stands for them having the best experience of their lives, etc.

Once she could see this she realized that just because she didn’t have “all the answers” her prospect asked her about didn’t mean she wasn’t of unique value to them. This helps her now shift her conversations with future prospects. She’ll embrace her value and remember that “not having all the answers” is not a ding on her value. It just means she needs to do a little extra research!

When we work from the inside out…when we embrace our brilliance and our true value… our clients will feel it. I like to think of it this way: when I care for myself and how I show up I know my clients can feel that from me and that gives them confidence and peace that they’ve hired the right coach for them.

Your VALUE is intrinsic. It already IS. Becoming consciously aware of your true value (which is what I “specialize” in…helping my clients Identify and Articulate Their Brilliance) and then embracing it will allow your light to shine, it will allow you to touch and radiate your inner confidence and brilliance, and lead to people feeling confident about working with you.

It all starts with you and how you view Who You Are.

What do you really sell? Your answer should allow you to breathe easy….

This morning I asked my coach a question and she gave me such a perfect answer I wanted to share it with you.

Over the weekend I had a big a-ha about how many coaches and experts from many different industries are jumping on the Ultimate Lifestyle bandwagon and pulling out all the stops to show you/us how we too can create “the most amazing lifestyles EVER”.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this except that I think it has many of us very confused about what we should really be selling. Should I be selling the notion that if you get your business on track you too can travel around the world, OR should I wear my heart on my sleeve and talk more about the every day benefits of what I offer: how good profound clarity is going to feel to you, how much more “client attractive” that will make you, and how that will lead you to having that extra cash you desire so you can take your daughter on a shopping trip, travel to NYC with your sweetie, and take a good amount of time off for vacations and holidays.

So this is the question I asked my coach because sometimes I need perspective too and she gave me the perfect answer:

Keep it more real.

And that allowed me to breathe and I hope it does you too!

Now, let me spell this out for you so it’s perfectly clear what “keeping it real” when it comes to selling means.

First, unless you truly do live a BIG lifestyle, don’t try to sell a big lifestyle. If you don’t travel the world on a regular basis don’t talk about this as one of your benefits. It will come off as totally inauthentic.

Second, embrace the LIFE and LIFESTYLE you do have. When you VALUE Who You Are and How You Live you will most certainly find ideal clients that match Who You Are, What You Hold Most Dear, and even How You Live.

Third, do take the time to get clear on the real benefits of what you offer. If you’re a coach and one of your benefits is clarity talk to your prospects about the impact having more clarity will have on their lives and businesses. Will more clarity allow them to feel more confident and will more confidence lead to being more of a client magnet and will more clients lead to more money and will more money lead to special nights out with their family?

If you’re a travel expert will booking your ideal destination lead to feeling inspired and will feeling inspired lead to expanded awareness and will expanded awareness lead your ideal clients to feel like they are now true citizens of the world and will that lead them to feel like they are finally living the lives they were born to live and will that make them feel like better parents?

You see, it’s true, there’s what you sell and there’s what you really sell and in order to know what you really sell you need to Know Who You Are and Who Your Ideal Client is. This is core foundational stuff, my friend, so do the work to get crystal clear.

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Now, obviously today I needed a reminder of what I already knew and I’m even going to review the true benefits of what I offer my clients so it won’t be so easy for me to question that again! And perhaps you’d like to review the benefits of what you offer too? If you’ve read this far there might be some value for you in doing so!

Want to hire me as your coach? I work with really cool clients that totally want to keep their businesses REAL for Who They Really Are. If you’d like to learn more fill out this brief questionnaire and submit it back to me! We’ll set up a time to chat and learn more about each other.

Sometimes, the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy

eff9d65f57d51f07fd5f298eb56de812Maybe because my daughter is now in college I find myself reminiscing about my college days, which for the most part were some of the best days of my life.

I can remember having these incredible, fun-loving weekends with people I loved, doing what we loved, to whatever degree we pleased.

I even called these special moments “lost weekends” because of how they allowed us to truly lose ourselves in the moment which of course, in the long run, helped us find ourselves.

But those days don’t last, do they? We grow up, get jobs, get much more serious, have families, start businesses, and probably grow even more serious.

It’s not that we stop having fun but the kind of fun we have certainly does change and sometimes we have much less of it.

Our life takes on a certain kind of flow, or pattern…

And after awhile that pattern can feel very stagnant, old, and work against us.

Getting stuck in a pattern can slowly suck the life from your life. It can drain your enthusiasm, make you feel old, uninspired, and even boring.

So when you find yourself there as a business owner what can you do to snap out of it?

First, like the quote above says, you might actually have to do something a little crazy to break up the pattern you’re in.

I see business owners do this all the time. They pack up and take their business on the road and work from their hotel overseas, they pack up their homes and move to different cities, they simply sell their homes and buy new ones. Some open new offices. Some take on personal challenges like a new sport, marathons, or sky-diving. Some change up what they offer in their businesses. Some take risks to be much more in the spotlight than ever before. And some make phone calls and have conversations that used to scare them.

They do a “pattern interrupt” and more often than not it serves them very well.

A pattern interrupt is a way to change your state of being or current strategies in a rather abrupt manner. In other words your patterns will change as the result of introducing something new or challenging to your life quickly.

If this idea of a “pattern interrupt” resonates for you do this:

Write down all of the ways you could interrupt the pattern you find yourself in. What could you do that would totally shake things up (in a good way) and bring more pizazz back to your life, which of course would bring it back to your business too?

Could you volunteer? Walk on hot coals? Hire a personal trainer? Go on an exotic vacation? Join a new club or group? Hire a coach? Invest in your business and self in new and exciting ways? Take a special leadership program? Sell your house and move? Cut your hair….

Most importantly, if this idea is resonating for you, make a decision that you’re going to change things up in your life.

Decide. Go. And have a ball!

How big are your problems, really?

how big are your problemsMy oh my I do know how easy it is to make a mountain out of molehill. I’ve certainly been there too.

Recently my husband and I have been dealing with an “issue” that has seemed to be the biggest problem EVER resulting in us feeling really small by comparison.

But then one day all of my training, studying, and knowing took over and I realized we had been looking at us vs. our problem completely ass-backward and because of that we continued to remain stuck.

We had successfully made “our problem” BIGGER than us, practically insurmountable. No wonder we’d been unable to solve it!

And then I remembered a TRUTH about our divine natures and how our problems are actually created out of our fears and NOT our divine natures.

What did Einstein say (BTW, I love this guy):

einstein

And of course he’s right but I must also confess that for years that quote totally confused me because I wondered how else I could “think” that would make any difference!

Then I started learning about my Divine Nature and how the REAL me is far greater than the parts of me that get me in trouble.

Once I learned how to tap into my Divine Nature (using my intuition vs. my thinking brain) my life shifted in many ways, including overcoming issues and problems that once plagued me.

Yes, once I started asking and expecting my intuition to help me with my problems wouldn’t you know I started getting amazing insights as to steps I could take to overcome my problems.

Back to today. This issue my husband and I are having… it’s dust. It’s going to now go away (and fast) because we have stopped trying to solve this problem with the same fear-based thinking that created it. We are remembering that WE are far greater than our problems and it’s our divine natures that will help us solve our problems.

Here’s the truth (print and cut this out and post it so you remember this too):

you_your problem

YOU are far bigger than your problems. All of them. Your problems are tiny compared to Who You Really Are. Get your thinking right about that and there’s nothing that’s going to stop you for long!

Here’s a recap:

  1. YOU are bigger than your problems. Period. MUCH bigger.
  2. You can’t overcome a problem with the same thinking that created the problem.
  3. To overcome your problems tap into your Divine Nature, specifically call on your intuition. Here’s how:

Remember, believe and trust you are intuitive (we all are).   Lay your problem out before you. Write it down, clearly and succinctly. Ask your intuition to SHOW YOU solutions.

Examples:

Problem: Dang, I’ve gained 30 pounds!

Ask your intuition: Show me what I need to now do, be, or have to be vibrant, healthy, and my perfect weight!

Pay attention and write down all of the whispers, nudges, signs, and messages you get as an answer. BE OPEN to what the answer could be!  (And yes, sometimes the answers you receive will have more to do with your beliefs than actual action steps you can do.  As they say, change your beliefs, change your life!)

Problem: Dang, I’m 20K in debt!

Ask your intuition: Show me what I need to now do, be, or have to create financial freedom.

Again, pay attention and write down all of the whispers, nudges, signs and messages you get as an answer. BE OPEN to what you’re receiving.

Finally, TAKE ACTION on what your intuition is nudging you to do. You must take action. Even if what you’re being told is to BE patient, follow suit!

  1. Every day remind yourself that you are bigger than your problems and then do the exercise above.
  2. BELIEVE in the power of you and your ability to overcome.  You’re a giant!

YOU CAN overcome any problem or issue that’s plaguing you. Just make sure you’re coming at your problem from the right direction: your divine nature vs. fear-based thinking.

You’ve got this!